My feelings are cold. The hours are dark. I wanted a lot from 2009 but I was left without a feeling. I am even colder now. I use to own my heart.  I use to actually mean my smiles. I have never lied this much to myself. A time ago I would cry tears. You could easily trigger their release. But just yesterday, when I should have cried not even a single tear wet my eyes.

I am emotionless. I really am numb.
I do not know who this person I look at in the mirror looking back at me wants.

You really think you know your life is on track then it all unravels. I am lost with all your sadness. How much can a human handle of a burden that is not theirs?

I can only shackle my ankles. I will gently handcuff my own hands. I will place the blindfolds in your hands. Kindly blind me.

I will not ask you please.
I need to momentarily escape.

I miss smiling.

Nothing even started right this year.

I still am without a heart,
You never gave it back.

And now with it gone, I do not even know why I feel so broken from the last few days when I should simply be empty.

I want to dance in the river of my own tears, and I want to watch the moon kiss the stars as they did once upon a time.

I am not happy.
And I honestly do not want to be happy right now.
I can not even if you forced me

You masked me in my own bitterness
You were suppose to love me until the cord quit.
But here I am questioning the simplest of loves, and the strangest vine in this world.

I want it all black
So blindfold me.

You can duck tape my lips,
I do not want to speak

Silence always loved me.
The only love yet to disappoint.